![]() Eventually, one of those others will be a new lady friend who will make you completely forget about your old girlfriend. If you concentrate on your own success, health, and happiness and being the most positive person you can be, you will attract others your way. When you’re feeling jealous, look back over the list and be happy she is someone else’s problem.Ĥ) Take a good look at your own self-esteem, and work on building your own happiness (whatever that means for you). Make a list of descriptors with specific examples. Remember her as she actually was in the relationship with you before you broke up. You may be over-glamorizing your ex by conveniently forgetting all of those negative traits. We don’t generally recall them as cold, untrustworthy, selfish, critical, callous, aloof, etc. When we’ve suffered heartbreak or are missing someone, there’s a tendency to skip over the bad memories. I'm sorry you had to face this, but I feel confident that you'll get through it with some time and support.ģ) Do a realistic memory review on your ex and the relationship. Of course, also talk to someone you trust about your feelings during this time so that you can keep things in perspective and focus on the future. If you write, paint, enjoy photography, do crafts, or otherwise artistically express yourself, consider some projects that will constructively occupy you and help move you forward. Listen to positive, mood-boosting music such as the Positive Vibe Playlist: Happy and Uplifting Songs to Put You in a Good Mood. Also try to exercise because endorphins are the body's natural "feel-good drug." Do something fun and rewarding with friends that will boost your mood in a healthy way (e.g., group mani/pedis, escape room outing). Humor helps a lot so seek out funny movies, cat videos, a comedy club with friends, or whatever will make you laugh. In getting over him, focus on positivity and yourself. There are important biochemical and even genetically-driven components to attraction that you can't possibly change. Attraction may be hard to explain or turn on or off. Another person can have all the "right" qualities, but oddly, we just may not be feeling it and can't quite articulate the vague reasons why. Your self-esteem is much stronger than this one little data point, right?Īlthough the rejection feels intensely personal because it's fresh, we also understand that sometimes we don't understand what motivates our attraction (or lack of it) to someone else. Consider this rejection to be ONLY ONE data point in a lifetime of data about yourself. ![]() ![]() You may be beating yourself up with questions like, "Is there something wrong with me?" That's completely unnecessary and self-defeating, so if you're doing that, then kindly stop now. What do you recommend doing to get over him?Īnswer: First, realize that everyone has experienced personal rejection like this, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Question: I just got rejected by someone I really liked. Scott Akerman via Flickr, CC-BY-SA 2.0 Questions & Answers
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